how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize