Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
