I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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