He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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