We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
