it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
