You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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