We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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