3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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