im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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