I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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