I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh god it's open bar.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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