why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
