Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
