Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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