Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize