y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
