Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
