just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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