i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
