I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
