found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
