i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
