how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
