i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
