Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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