This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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