I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
