My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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