the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
