We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
