Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
