break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
