Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
