And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize