Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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