Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
