i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
