is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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