Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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