hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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