it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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