the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
