I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
