Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize