Im at strip club and am horny
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
