my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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