You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just saw a hot homeless man
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
