What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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