The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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