Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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