I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
