How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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