i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
