Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
