mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
