i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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