this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
