D3 body, D1 cock
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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