We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
