Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
