Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize