I wish I only lived at night.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
