if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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