DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
