Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
