before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
