He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
